Sunday, April 1, 2012

The Elegant Wealthy - How Not To Be Intimidated

I found this description of the 'Elegant Wealthy' befitting.

Ralph Lauren, luxorium

"Although rich, my classmates and their families were not snobs. They were friendly people involved in the community. I spent a lot of time at my friends' beach homes, on their boats, and flying in their planes. They did not flaunt their wealth. They shared it. To them, being rich seemed natural, not special. It was a lifestyle and a standard of living. Their lifestyle was not that big a deal to them."

"It was I who thought their lifestyle was a big deal, sometimes feeling uncomfortable, sometimes out of place, and acutely aware of the standard of living that separated us."

Sometimes when we meet someone who intimidate us, whether it is because of the person's elegance, beauty, intelligence, wealth or achievement, we all feel the same way as the author:

"It was I who thought their lifestyle was a big deal, sometimes feeling uncomfortable, sometimes out of place, and acutely aware of the standard of living that separated us."

How else to overcome this? Get educated, especially in the area where you feel most intimidated in. I used to feel the same way as this author, in the presence of many high achieving, well connected people...and to be honest, I still do sometimes. But that was how I found my confidence through education to the best I can - and then shared it on! Here is my story.

I recently themed my latest newsletter on the topic of understanding wealth. Though it is not necessary to be wealthy to be elegant, but I believe there needs to be at least an understanding of wealth. There is also a certain sense of quiet confidence that a woman has when she is secure about her finances, which shows in her graceful and elegant manner towards money.

We can't run away from this topic, though I'm sure some of us are already almost covering our ears and humming. We all have to deal with this. It is better to be equipped with some financial education, as I've explained in the Elegant Letters Issue 27.

Coming back to the exerpt at the start of this blogpost, there are 2 things I would like to draw attention to.

Firstly, not everyone who is wealthy have the above described behaviour, though in the ideal world, they would be all like that! I've also written an article about having an elegant attitude towards money.

Secondly, we are all uncomfortable with certain situations, especially in our pursuit of elegance. If going to an expensive restaurant or designer boutique intimidates you, somehow find a way to immerse yourself in those things. Pluck up the courage to have coffee in that restaurant,  or read reviews and study their menu online.
Force yourself to dress up just to go into that designer boutique and try on some shoes!

Speaking to very witty, well spoken, high achieving, educated folks used to intimidate me, but I soon realized I 'could just get away with it' by being interested in what they are saying and ask more questions. That way I could minimize the talking! After becoming better friends, I've realized they are all the same as me - with hopes and dreams and problems and disappointments.

Hope you're having a great start to the week!



  1. I really appreciate your articles. This was really insightful. I'll have to work at developing my understanding of wealth.

  2. I love your articles! You do wonderful thinking on these issues. I did chuckle though, because this elegant woman in the picture is about to mount her horse from the wrong side ;)